J3 Bar, Islington, London, 28th January 2003:
Tuesday was better than Monday: a nice, big, airy pub near the Angel tube station in Islington. I was, I admit, a bit scared. Loads of people were there, but I kept focused, and strummed like a bastard. When I dared to look at the audience, all I could see were people smiling and listening (not sharpening knives or aiming barstools). This was good. My trusty Atkin didn’t let me down (ie all strings and components stayed connected to the guitar!). Just two songs, I decided; no slow songs (far too much of that already!). “Force Of Nature” and “What’s Under The Stairs?” — hit and run! There were some very interesting and receptive people around (no chavs!) and the tentative offer of further gigs for both of us. Okay, London! Resistance is useless!
Quote from punter: “I came out of the bog and thought ‘What the fuck is this? The Ramones?!’”
Up All Night, Spice of Life, London, 27th January 2003:
Now I’ve played in London once before, with Gav and my brother (”The Avant-Garde Genius”) at the Klinker in 2000, but this was my first opportunity to show the capital what it had been missing by only visiting oyster restaurants in Whitstable and not the Smack or the Neptune on Wednesdays and Sundays.
Monday, having found the place through hordes of Leonardo Di-Sproutface fans, nearly didn’t happen at all as so many people had turned up to play, but we (me and Adam Rothwell) were kindly found a slot: numbers 29 and 30, right at the end of the evening! Fortunately, those who stayed were suitably impressed, despite one or two technical hitches (like no guitar audible through the PA). I was pleased to find that we (Adam as well) were still something DIFFERENT, which can only be a good thing.
Star and Garter, Manchester, 26th Jauary 2003:
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The Old Neptune, Whitstable, 19th January 2003:
A bizarre one, this. I did my usual convulsions and also played some practised (if not necessarily remembered!) bass for some of IJ’s songs, though sadly not the trade-mark show-stopper “Ultra Violently In Love With You”. Fortunately there were a few more (good!) people to play this week: the inimitable Malcolm; my protégé (Well, I like to think so!), Adam Rothwell, who debuted a new song or two; Jenny (who was/is one half of Lucky And The Dead); and Rosie (I think that was her name, I must remember to write these things down) who brought some much needed variety (it’s been quiet of late!) as well as, according to one on-looker, a “Celtic lilt”. I’m not sure what this means but I think it was intended as complimentary!
However, the climax to the evening was the arrival of the man known only as “Andy” with a Steinberger bass, Zoom FX unit, Stormtroopers Of Death T- shirt (Japanese Thrash band, fact fans). He proceeded to play Death Metal, on a Sunday Afternoon, to approximately 10 people… ON HIS OWN… pause to take this in, ladies and gentlemen… RESPECT!!! I somehow got inveigled into playing “lead” on (ahem) acoustic guitar and singing (in appropriately guttural tones) the least Death Metal lyrics I could think of: “Close To You” by The Carpenters and “Khum-By-Ya” (is that how you spell it? primary school hymn practise seems like a long time ago). All-in-all, a truly vintage evening and, as Adam so rightly pointed out, “pure League Of Gentlemen“. Thanks, y’all, please call again! But anyway, I’ll meet you at London Station, at tea time…
The Old Neptune, Whitstable, 11th January 2003:
On Saturday morning I surfaced with a severely throbbing brain after a particularly strange and drunken work do, but fortunately by the evening equilibrium was restored and I was ready to rock with I.J. and Friends! I.J. is the evil genius behind the John Doe Band, and the friends in question were various combinations of the John Doe Band and, er, me. Thus we had two sets from Ian and singer Laverne, and a solo set from The Drummer (erm… names…). No, not a Ginger Baker-esque half hour percussion frenzy, but SONGS rendered via the acoustical guitar, and fine stuff too. I also joined the John Doe Band on bass and guitar for a few songs before Ian (aka I.J.) brought the evening to a throbbing, thunderous orgasm with the show-stopping “Ultra Violently In Love With You” (all together now – “ultra violently in love with you, I’m gonna fill your every orifice with super glue”!).
As for my set, well I thrashed seven bells out of a black Telecaster (somehow, somewhere, I hope Joe Strummer was watching), ran through my usual nervous tics for an appreciative audience, and managed to avoid breaking any strings until the last chord of the last song — if only it was always thus!
- Making Plans For Nigel (XTC)
- Cocoon (Williams)
- Folsom Prison Blues (Johnny Cash)
- The Medway Crab Fisherman (Williams)
- ES-40 (Williams)
- A Million Platitudes (Williams)
- Force Of Nature (Williams)
- The Look Of Love (ABC)
- Barking Up The Wrong Tree (Williams)